Friends , family and fellow professionals were gravely concerned today after reports regarding former face of Flash and Brush Strokes actor - Karl Howman . Howman was involved in what appears to be a drunken bust-up with Barry Scott - genius inventor of penny polishing cleaning miracle Cillit Bang . The incident occured at the prestigious Cleaning Product Advert Awards held at a top London hotel last night . The ceremony was attended by the cream of the industry including Kim & Aggie , Mr Sheen , the new look Mr Muscle , Duck ( formally Toilet Duck) , those two fat trannies off the Bounty adverts and the Charmin Bear .
An insider states 'The event was invite only and a no admitance policy was in place at the door , it appears that Karl turned up with the old skinny version of Mr Muscle - who we know has been replaced by a muscular computer generated bender and Toilet Duck - who has also been replaced by a graphic called just Duck - as god forbid that the public relate a cleaning product with anything to do with shit or arses '
He continues ' All three turned up pissed as fuck and obviously bitter about not being invited and were turned away by the door staff when it started to turn nasty . Danny Baker ( who was there to receive a lifetime acheivement award for Daz Doorstep challenge ) got elbowed in the face - the tubby , four-eyed , frizzy haired fuckwit went down like a sack of shite - Toilet Duck spat in Mr Sheen's moustache - luckily he had just parked his spitfire round the back or there may have been bloodshed. ! The security staff got it under control and Karl and the other two were leaving when things got worse
' Barry Scott pulls up in his Aston and starts down the red carpet , Barry is top of his game at the minute - a real industry darling and he has the trappings and fame that go with it ! He turned up with one of those real women , certainly not actresses , off the Sensodine adverts and he was lauding it up on the red carpet - quipping to the photographers that his companion may need to clean her teeth after he'd finished with her - but that he would be providing the man-paste ! Flashbulbs were firing and the press guys were lapping it up'
'It obviously was too much for Karl to bare as only three years ago this was him - he was top of the pile as the malingering husband in the Flash campaign - it was rumoured that he'd gone twoseys up with Kim & Aggie and shown Nannette Newman - from the Fairy ads just how long HE cound last - on the the same debauched night !
Barry saw Karl looking muttering to Toilet Duck and pointing and shouted -
" Ere Brush Strokes - Fuck Off - and take yer bumchums with yer , Theres nowt here for you "
Karl shouted " It wont fucking last mate I got a similar product called Bang with comparable kitchen capabilty and bathroom results from fucking Poundland "
' By this point a crowd had gathered there was a couple of Andrex puppies running about chewing on those cloth things off the Lenor adverts - The Charmin Bear dumped his fucking bait on the red carpet - that baby who wears a suit and talks like a wanky business analyst off the Triple Velvet adverts was winding Karl up - telling him to mop the bear shit up - It was chaos '
' Barry grabbed for Karl but the new Mr Muscle pulled him away someone caught Karl in the nose and he was bleeding down his shirt Barry was shouting about getting some Vanish Oxy - Action on it and the whole scene was ugly - eventually it was broken up and everyone went inside'
'Barry wasnt bothered for the rest of the evening he picked up six awards and all the women were crowding him and getting him to shout "Bang!" in that twatty way he does - Last I saw of Karl he was being dragged away by the Shake And Vac woman - cursing and swigging a bottle of Stardrops'
It seems that a former sit-com favorite may have fallen on hard times but lets wish him all the best and success with his future career and that he picks up a panto or they recommision that fucking awfull sit-com he made with Denise Van Outen - Thanks for the memories Jacko !
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