As the World comes to terms with the demise of one of this centuries biggest icons our thoughts turn to his impact on our lives - sadness creeps over us like a troupe of child dancers sadly leaving the stage after performing an arse clenchingly awful , overblown , faux-environmental cuntfest and we bear our shitty arses in contempt , like a mildly peturbed lanky Britpop singer or something .Michael Jackson was discovered dead today in his Los Angeles home , he had suffered a massive heart attack and was discovered cock handed , his leather britches around his ankles , Disk Three of the Home Alone boxset still playing on his DVD player . A sad demise for a once peerless performer .
We spoke to sinister homosexual and former Jacko protege Stedman from Britsoul superstars Five Star who could only blurt out between the tears '...It should have been Tito...' while combing his hair.
Jackson whose physical and mental decline was obvious to viewers of reality TV show Bo Selecta in the early nineties , which also featured complicated facial hair advocate and Two-step superstar Craig David . David commented ' We had a lot in common in those days due to our musical genius and the fact that both our christian and surnames could be used as both christian and surnames names , though admittedlty more so in my case however Jackson is a popular christian name in some communities . Michaels outlandish appearance and erratic behaviour was a concern to all on that show and he was almost like a warped caricature of himself with his swearing and use of jive talk '
'I remember walking into his dressing room once when Ronnie Corbett was making a guest appearance on Banzai that was being filmed in the next studio at Channel Four - Michael had enticed golf mad Ronnie his dressing room by saying he knew Tiger Woods and forced him to drink some 'Jesus Juice' which was actually a bottle Tyxilix-esque dossers favourite 2020 , Ronnie was very drunk and Michael had put one of his favourite blankets over Ronnies head and was about to take him for a dicky back ride around the dressing room , I got Ronnie out and explained to Jacko that he was a grown man and not a boy ! All he could say was that he loved that little boys Scottish accent and it reminded him of his mate , the drummer out of the Bay City Rollers who also had a reputation as an unwise choice of babysitter'
Michael Jackson is dead yet let us not focus on the facts that he was a full on nonce and totally fucked in the head and remember his musical legacy , his influence can be heard in act as diverse as Can , Tom Waits and Extreme Noise Terror . The King of Pop Is Dead .
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